Abraham Maslow - Self Actualization

 

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs :

1. Physiological needs, such as needs for food, sleep and air.

 

2. Safety, or the needs for security and protection, especially those that emerge from social or political instability.

 

3. Belonging and love including, the needs of deficiency and selfish taking instead of giving, and unselfish love that is based upon growth rather than deficiency.

 

4. Needs for self-esteem, self-respect, and healthy, positive feelings derived from admiration.

 

5. And “being” needs concerning creative self-growth, engendered from fulfillment of potential and meaning in life.

Daily Habits

10 Insightful Coaching Questions to Help You Identify Daily Success Habits:


1. Where do I sabotage myself on a daily basis?

2. What could I do instead or differently?


3. What could I do at work on a daily basis that would set me up for success?
***Structured processes, get up earlier, not check email until 11am, set a timer when on social media etc

4. What would feed my heart and soul on a daily basis?


5. What would feed my physical body and health?
***Self-care activities, a yoga or meditation practice, daily walk or run, drinking 6-8 glasses of water etc

6. What is missing in my life?


7. What do I want more of?
***sleep, fun, solitude, quiet, beauty

8. How could I feed important relationships in my life on a daily basis? What about feeding the relationship with myself?
*** 5-15 minutes of connecting/listening to our spouse/children/selves/journaling – without distraction

9. What do you need to do to be the best you can be (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually)?

 

10. What do I already know I need to do, but am just not implementing?

Live your Life

1. SEE YOUR TRUTH


*SEE YOUR TRUTH about yourself, your life and how the world operates; drawing upon age-old wisdom, forming a brand new, solid foundation of understanding from which to live.

 

2. CLEAR THE FOG

 

*CLEAR THE FOG of your limiting paradigm, by applying the truth to let go and break free of whatever blocks you.

3.  CREATE & GROW

*CREATE & GROW, by redefining your life from that moment forward, to live with clear vision and from inspired action.

Coaching Takes Place in the Present

Detachment while witnessing and acknowledging the beauty and richness of all human dilemmas is key to practicing compassion. When you attach yourself to another’s circumstances or emotional experiencing, you begin to swim in their soup. This is valuable if you are practicing empathy. But in this practice of coaching you need to remain detached and neutral in order to speak and listen with discriminating aptitude and capability. Much like an athletic coach, who stays on the side lines, our job is to stay out of the client’s soup.

It’s a tricky place to play in, this fierce compassion. It’s a balance of being strong and being soft. As a friend of mine described it, it’s being an iron fist in a silk glove. Think of people who work in emergency situations. They remain clearly detached and focused on their intention of bringing support to people in need. And, at the same time they are so aware of the delicate balance between life and death and the fragileness of our humanity. They are so careful with a person who is physically broken, not wanting to contribute to the pain and suffering already being endured.

Vision Boards

Vision Boards - A Great Tool to Help Your Clients Get Focused and Excited!

A Vision Board is a way of teaching our mind to focus on the things that are important to us!
 IT is simply a collective name for a wide variety of inspirational maps (a collage) that we create from pictures.

The map can be WHO we want to be or HOW we want our lives to be but it’s a visual representation of our goals and dreams—a powerful way to make our aspirations more tangible and attainable.

How to create a Vision Board: cut out and collect pictures, words, quotes that inspire them or that catch their eye. Paste and organize these images, words, quotes etc onto a big piece of paper, giving it a title and date.

Top Tips:

The Vision Board MUST HAVE PICTURES – While they look for pictures, they should allow their minds to run free and dream.

HOW THEY FEEL is more important that what they think!

Include PERSONAL AFFIRMATIONS or inspiring quotes to nurture and cherish themselves.Use COLOR! Colored felt-tip pens, color post-it notes, color pictures, make it VIBRANT and exciting.Encourage them to look for the UNFAMILIAR – to get outside their ‘normal’ box…

Finally, this is not about creating an artistic masterpiece but creating something that visually INSPIRES and EXCITES them!

Career Goal Plan

Good career goals will help you to identify and focus your developmental efforts, bringing you closer to where you want to go in your career.

Develop both Short-Term (1 year) goals and Long-term Goals (3-5 years)

SMART GOALS—Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound;

Time Management Skills

SET A TIMER: When using Facebook/Twitter/Browsing the internet. It’s easy to get drawn into things – fun pictures, interesting links, updates from friends and before we know it an hour has passed and we end up late or don’t get something finished that we wanted to. Sometimes these ‘time-wasters’ energise or give us the opportunity to play – the trick is to do it CONSCIOUSLY.

JUST 3 THINGS: Make a list the night before on a SPECIAL post-it pad of the 3 things you would be disappointed, annoyed or frustrated not to achieve the next day. This is of course prioritizing, so you’ll need to refer to your To-Do List/Plans. But what’s different here is your items could be anything from posting a birthday card to making that follow-up call to a potential client, writing that coaching article or renewing your car insurance. Non-work stuff CAN disrupt your day, your thinking and how you feel – and that’s why we include them on your post-it if they’re important enough. Then, you simply start EACH day tackling the first item on your day’s post-it. As soon as you finish the first item, tackle the next item. When you finish that (you know what’s coming here), start the final item. If you finish your 3 things with time to spare – great! You can choose to relax OR you can choose to take a look at your “To-Do” Lists again and tackle something else. Feel free to achieve more, but DO NOT add extra items to your day’s post-it.

EARLY BIRDS GET THE WORM: Get to all your meetings 10 minutes early. This tip is definitely counter-intuitive – but try it for a week and see the difference in how you feel! WHY? Much of our LACK of productivity comes from feeling stressed, overwhelmed or having a busy mind. We achieve so much more when we’re calm and have a mind clear of self-judgement. Use those 10 minutes to meditate, stare at the clouds or flowers, to reconnect with yourself or even to write your ’3 Things To Do’ for the next day. And – bonus – if you do hit roadworks or an unexpected delay, you’ll be on time!

KEEP IT CLEAR: Have ONE day a week with NO meetings or appointments. If possible, set it up so that you only check email at the end of the day (it helps if you check your email last thing the previous day). Also, avoid distraction on social media (you could set-up your posts to go the night before).

GET INTIMATE with YOUR personal time-wasters. Keep a notepad by your side for one day and note down how long you spend on what. Even better, watch your time over a week-long period with the Expose Your Hidden Time Wasters Template. WHY? Once you total up HOW MUCH TIME you’re wasting, you may get a shock – and choose to spend that time differently.

CHALLENGE the interruptions. This is possibly the best time management tip out there. 1) Ask the interrupter, “How important is this?” (You may be surprised by their response) and then 2) Ask yourself, “Is this interruption more important than what I’m currently doing?

PRACTICE FIERCE KINDNESS. You may prefer to chat with a friend on Facebook or a colleague at the water cooler but is this best for you? Are you going to end up rushed, late, stressed or annoyed because you didn’t leave enough time or forgot something? Real kindness is not just being sweet and nice – it’s also being fierce and strong when you need to be. Fierce Kindness asks, “Is this REALLY best for me right now?”.

MIND THE GAPS: Identify “Filler Tasks” on your To-Do list. A filler task takes less than 15 minutes to do and is perfect for the gaps in your day or to give yourself a break from bigger tasks. Often we fill short gaps in our day (less than 30 minutes) with time-wasting or distractions. Why not give yourself a boost by completing something instead!

LET GO Change Your Mind (or) Say No to ONE thing Every day It’s that simple. Try it.

DELEGATE: Find one new thing to delegate. Do YOU really need to do everything on your plate? Or could someone else – a child, partner, friend or co-worker – benefit, learn from or even enjoy doing one of your tasks? Give someone else the opportunity to learn something new or do you a favour – and reap the benefits.

QUIT WORK EARLY! You’ve worked hard today, you deserve it. Or maybe you HAVEN’T worked hard! Maybe you’re tired, grumpy, stressed out and overwhelmed! DO IT ANYWAY! Call a friend and pop over for a chat, or make a cup of tea and curl up with a good book. When we solely tie our rewards to hard work, this reinforces a societal belief that we ONLY deserve rest, relaxation and reward when we’ve earned it. Which seems OK on the surface, but actually removes spontaneity – and brings judgement into our work life.It’s OK. Finish early, and come back tomorrow refreshed and ready to go!

Limiting Beliefs

Coaching Questions 101: 5 Ways to Identify and Work through Your Clients' Limiting Beliefs

When our clients are stuck, when they have a goal and are not making progress or when the client is keen, knows what the next step is but avoids or won’t commit to it – it’s often a limiting belief at work.

So this is the ideal time for coaches to ask questions and dig a little deeper to bring those limiting beliefs (or rules) into the open. So, here are 5 sets of questions to help identify and work through limiting beliefs: Important: Remember to use lots of silence. Give your client lots of time to ponder and answer the questions – especially after their initial answer – see what ELSE they say if you just wait quietly…

1.STRAIGHTFORWARD CHALLENGE: 1.How important is ________ to you really? 2.That’s interesting because the evidence suggests (feel free to mention whatever they’re NOT doing) you’re not that interested/committed to ________. 3.What else do you think could be getting in the way? 4.What hidden rules (or limiting beliefs) do you think you have that could be stopping you from making the progress you desire? 5.Interesting. What will you do with this new information?

2.MORE THAN A FEELING!

1.Where in your body do you feel stuck or held back? 2.Describe the feeling (what, where, frequency, motion, intensity, how it physically FEELS). 3.What do you think that feeling is trying to tell you? 4.What do you think that feeling might be trying to protect you from? 5.How can you honour the intention behind ________ (the fear) AND still move forwards?

3.BREAK THE RULES (Rules are often just limiting beliefs!): 1.So, what rule/s would you be breaking if you did ________ (the client’s goal/action)? 2.Thinking back for a moment, where do you think that rule might have come from? 3.Who do you think may have given that rule to you? 4.What do you think was the original purpose behind the rule? 5.How does that rule apply now? 6.If the rule doesn’t apply any more: So, what are you going to do with this new information? 7.If the rule still applies: How can we update the rule so that it’s more flexible and you can still achieve the ________ you want?

4.BE SILLY! 1.Let’s imagine that it’s something else getting in the way. 2.What might you be embarrassed to look at that could be stopping you from ________? 3.What might you feel silly to say out loud? 4.That sounds perfectly rational to me: If part of you thinks ________, no wonder you haven’t done ________ 5.So, where do we go from here?

5.WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 1.What rules do you have about how you should behave, that are getting in the way of you moving forwards? 2.How specifically does ________ (rule) affect your ability to move forwards? (REPEAT for each rule) 3.Tell me about that. What is that like? 4.What would you like instead of ________ (negative affect of rule)? 5.Who do you need to be to achieve that?

The Grow Model

* T – Session Topic

•G – Goal (Session Goal)

•R – Reality (Where they are and what’s going on for them)

•O – Options (Ideas and brainstorming – what they COULD do to move forwards)

•W – Will Do (Their actions – what they WILL do to move forwards)

T – Topic: While establishing the Topic often blends into the Goal and Reality parts of the model, getting a topic up front – even a loose one – is the start point for any coaching session. Questions like, “What would put a smile on your face?”, “What’s been working for you since the last session?”, “What hasn’t been working for you?” can help to clarify a session Topic.

G – Goal: This is the client’s goal for the session – and while it doesn’t have to be specific or ‘SMART’ it does need to be enough to give the session a clear purpose understood by both the client and the coach. The focus on action and change. A session goal helps us keep the client focused and when the session drifts it gives us the ability to say, “We seem to be heading in a different direction here, is this what you want?” Tip: This tactic can be especially helpful if you have a client that likes to tell long stories.

R – Reality: Reality is about the client understanding their situation and how they got there. It’s where we question, challenge, reframe and reflect back to our client where they are, what they’ve done so far, what’s working and what isn’t. It’s about really getting into where the client is right now and why. It should include talking about feelings and digging into emotions, gut-feelings and intuition – often new or uncharted frontiers for our clients. The Reality section is the ‘meat’ of any coaching session where we raise our client’s awareness around their values, priorities and beliefs – so they gain insights and learn about themselves.

O – Options: If the client could solve their problems alone they would have done. Often what they need from us is help brainstorming, a push or some support to take an action they have been putting off. And while a conversation can be helpful – nothing changes unless something changes. Tip: Check-in with the clients about how they FEEL about their actions. Can they commit to them 100%? Is there time to fit the actions into their busy lives? Would they like to be stretched more, or do they need to simplify their actions to maximize the chances of success?

W- Will do: An action review is essential for accountability.