Coaching Takes Place in the Present

Detachment while witnessing and acknowledging the beauty and richness of all human dilemmas is key to practicing compassion. When you attach yourself to another’s circumstances or emotional experiencing, you begin to swim in their soup. This is valuable if you are practicing empathy. But in this practice of coaching you need to remain detached and neutral in order to speak and listen with discriminating aptitude and capability. Much like an athletic coach, who stays on the side lines, our job is to stay out of the client’s soup.

It’s a tricky place to play in, this fierce compassion. It’s a balance of being strong and being soft. As a friend of mine described it, it’s being an iron fist in a silk glove. Think of people who work in emergency situations. They remain clearly detached and focused on their intention of bringing support to people in need. And, at the same time they are so aware of the delicate balance between life and death and the fragileness of our humanity. They are so careful with a person who is physically broken, not wanting to contribute to the pain and suffering already being endured.